Happy New Year!

I just had to say HNY because I like to push the envelope and say it well into February. I'm already getting weird looks when I say it. It is still a new year, isn't it?

There is a lot happening around here since the last time I wrote. We had another baby in April, Silas Green Haller. He will be 9 months old tomorrow!

I'm not going to write a book about what has happened in the past couple of years. Mostly because I can't even remember. Levi started kindergarten at Barton Hills Elementary, which AISD is now trying to close. Good times.

So, this is a new year. I'm going to write about food, family, and some other F word that I haven't picked yet. It probably isn't the one you might be imagining. You are thinking "fun" I bet.

Where Have I Been All My Life?

I had a short, weird dream this morning that I was some sort of self-help guru (ha!). I had just written a book and was doing a book signing. Just before waking up, I caught a glimpse of the title of my book which was "Where Have I Been All My Life" and I woke up chuckling. When I told my husband about it this morning, he did a Google search (of course) and found a lot of blog posts with the same title, so I thought I should join in. He said there was one blogger who had written about the fact that Obama's campaign slogan (This is Our Time. This is Our Moment.) had really inspired him to take more responsibility for himself. Perhaps that slogan has just seeped in to my thoughts.

I went to a wonderful workshop last night called Beyond Birds and Bees. It is led by my friend Katie Malinski, who is a therapist specializing in early childhood. We talked a lot about how sex education is so much more than just talking about intercourse, contraception, and diseases. Sex education starts really early for children. We teach them about self esteem, relationships, respect, anatomy, autonomy, media, etc., and that is their foundation for a healthy, sexual adult. We were asked to think of the first thing that came to our minds when we hear the words "sex education" and we all thought "film strip," oddly enough. I was so inspired because it goes back to taking responsibility for yourself and your family. What a relief to know that I am open to talking to Levi about sex because nobody ever talked to me about it. It isn't like it was considered a bad thing in our family, but it just wasn't something that was openly discussed and, to me, that's almost as dangerous as shaming your child when they try to talk about sexuality with their parents. There were some hilarious stories from the workshop. And I just had to write down that Levi, instead of privacy, says privaseed. I love it so much that I don't correct him. And because he has a CD of stories that are told by a British woman, he now knows that there are two meanings for the word cock. All thanks to the twelve-year-old in me who just had to giggle when she said it. Of course I will make sure he knows that in our house, the correct term is penis.

Off to work! On my book.

Let's try this again

There has been so much going on since the last time I was here. Levi turned 3, we went to Virginia and Wisconsin to see our families, I've become obsessed with politics, I turned 36, Mark turned 36, etc. We had a great birthday party for Levi at the Elks pool. Lots of friends came and we just had a blast! We also had a party for him in VA and one in WI, so he had a party for each year!

Levi went to his first camp last week at the Nature Center, where he'll be going to school in the fall. He absolutely loved it and felt totally comfortable there. It made me realize that we are truly making the best decision for his preschool by doing both Bungalow (our preschool co-op) and Nature Center. He made a sweet friend named Natalia. His teacher, Heidi, said that they were basically inseparable for the entire week. I always worried that, since he's been going to school with the same kids for so long, he might have trouble making friends. I was so proud. Plus, she loves animals! It was a match made in heaven.

I went to a wonderful conference for progressive bloggers and other politics-obsessed people a couple of weeks ago. It is called Netroots (www.netrootsnation.org). I volunteered to stuff conference bags (blast from the past!) and help organize sessions in order to attend some of the events. I was lucky enough to see Howard Dean, Wes Clark, and the back of Al Gore's head as he was leaving. Hearing Howard Dean and Wes Clark speak was quite a treat and I have been thinking a lot about what we lost back in 2000 when the election was stolen from Gore. So many back room deals, so many lives lost in a war that should have never been started, so much favor given to corporations over people. I don't think we'll even know the whole story until many years from now when people in the administration will have to start talking in order to clear their own conscience.

I talk to Levi about politics and I sometimes say things I might regret later. But the thing is that I cannot handle the thought of him going to fight a war that is such a giant mistake. And for what?

Okay, I must go now. Dinner (at 10 PM) is ready and I'm out of steam.

Underarm Monster

Today, when Levi and I were having lunch, I sat on the bean bag chair next to his table. He hasn't been sleeping well, so he curled up with me with his head on my shoulder, facing me. He got a horrified look on his face and started to cry. When he finally stopped crying, I asked him what happened. He pointed to my underarm and said "mama, i'm scared. what is THAT?" as he pointed to my underarm hair. I want to say, right now, that it has only been 3 days since I shaved, but Levi was petrified of the stubble. When I explained it to him, he told me that he wanted his da-da. Poor guy. Sometimes it scares me, too.

A few pics of tees and one of my boy

Morning at Whole Foods

We spent our morning at Whole Foods today and, although Levi is not feeling great, he was hilarious. We met our friends Stephanie, Anya, and Little Benji there. All the way over to the store, Levi kept saying that he wanted to show Benji (who is a tiny baby) his Mandals (man sandals). I was so proud. Mandals is a word we taught Levi early and he adopted it like it was his own. I have always loved the word, although I can't remember where I heard it.

Levi and Anya played Ring Around the Rosie over and over and over again so Steph and I had a chance to catch up a little bit. My conversational skills have really sucked since having a baby and now I feel like it is a bad habit. I rarely hold eye contact with anyone because I always have the eyes on Levi. I know other moms do this, too, and we all understand. Yet it feels bad because I used to be such a good listener. Maybe someday, I'll get it back.

Last night, I had my second Silkscreening class and it is the best thing I have done in a long time. I made a fabulous screen (if I do say so myself) and another stencil that I'm excited about printing next week. I feel like creating things has been what I've been missing for quite a while. I need that creative spark to make me happy. I love just looking around at anything and everything to get ideas for designs. Even at the grocery store, the broccoli inspired me.

Back to Levi. I am so in love with him right now. He is hilarious and creative and thoughtful. One of my favorite things he has said lately is "I am waiting for Da-Da and Da-Da is waiting for me" as we were walking home from a playdate at the Egerton's house. It brought tears to my eyes because it was so true. I was also explaining my work to him a few weeks ago and he said "Mama, Levi is your work" as he looked a little puzzled. Another truer than true statement.

My First Blog Entry

I just spent way too much time trying to pick a font (out of 8). This is why I haven't started a blog sooner. I am obsessive. I make too many lists and many times I will list things that I have already done, such as "drink a glass of water" just so I can cross it off the list. Perhaps it is because, as the mother of a 2-year-old, I have little time to get things accomplished and I believe it is also one small way I can exercise some control over my life.

I cannot seem to get the song "Movin' Right Along", by Kermit and Fozzie, out of my head. We listen to it over and over and over again around here. I feel happy that Levi likes songs like that, yet he also likes the most annoying version of ABCs by Dora the Explorer. I just want to run for the hills when I hear that voice. Speaking of happy, Levi has been having a hard time this past weekend. He did not sleep for 2 days and the weekend was one giant meltdown. Last night, he slept through the night and I asked him if he was happy today. He said to me, "Mama, home makes me happy" and it made me immediately think about him moving out when he is older. I have a tendency to just jump from A to Z without stopping in the middle.

I think that is one reason that writing might be a good idea for me. I forget to reflect on the little things and enjoy being in the moment.

The organic pest guy came today. He is one of those people that make me feel like a bumbling idiot. I felt like doing a song and dance to distract him from our gross kitchen and the fact that we have German Roaches. When he saw one of them he actually said "Oh, fuck" and then apologized. So, in my A to Z world, I started thinking that we were all diseased and had a major infestation and would have to move out of our house. As it turns out, he just needed to go get some different stuff out of the truck. He also made me feel bad because it took us 5 months to pay last time. He said that we aren't on the black list yet, so I asked if we are on the brown list. I actually got a smile out of him! What a relief.

I've been working like crazy on my new shirts. I hope to get some pics up soon, so my family in VA and Mark's family in WI can see what I've been up to lately.

I thought about my father today, as I was walking Levi home from school. If I were to follow his pattern, I would be divorcing Mark and leaving Levi right about now. Then again, I'd also be 20ish and a man. It made me wonder about a mother's bond over a father's bond. And, honestly, I feel like Mark and I have an equally strong bond with Levi. It is something I want to ask Mark about before I forget.

Oh, I guess I can add it to my list of things to do!

On that note, it is past my bedtime. I think I like blogging.

Night night!